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making out with him downstairs while the were upstairs, correct? It doesn't appear (at least to me) that anyone holds the moral high ground here, and it seems like you are trying to condemn his STBX as a crazy lunatic while painting you and the BF as saints with his 5-point monitor plan, etc. She is no saint either with the cheating and the running out on the family, but please stop trying to condemn her while pasting a halo on your BF. She had no right to barge in, but if she didn't know about you and your BF had allowed this sort of come-and-go friendly relationship before (which from giving her a key and allowing her to openly use the house during the day seems possible), then your BF owns part of the blame for this one. She needed a place to crash and apparently he hadn't minded before, right? From her perspective, she and her husband are not yet divorced and he is making out with some new woman downstairs while their are upstairs. That would be upsetting to people. I'm not saying she's perfect either with the running out on the or sleeping over with boyfriends, but it seems like your point is to paint her with the letter while claiming you are oh so holy. Truth is, it might be better to take a large step back and keep things a bit more discreet until the divorce is finalized and custody is decided. Even then, it would be better to try to cultivate a good relationship with this woman. At this point, you are disposable. You be the girlfriend, but she always be the mother of his. Whether you are around for 6 months, 2 years or the next 40 years, this woman always be a part of your life while you are with this. She is the mother of his, plain and simple. So, it might be better to scale back a bit while he is going through the divorce. Continue to date, but keep clear of his house. Make out with him if it's what you both want, but don't do it in his house. Do it in your apartment. don't rub your relationship in her face and take extra care to make sure your conduct around his is above reproach.
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